Lily and Remus
by Vitreum
Summary: Lily was flirting with him again, in that gentle, persistent way that was so characteristic of her." A one-shot on Lily's first choice out of the Marauders.


Lily was flirting with him again, in that gentle, persistent way that was so characteristic of her. She stood before him, nonchalantly leaning against the library bookcase and fiddling with the end of one long lock of auburn hair, smiling that dazzling Lily Evans smile.

He furtively glanced at the group of boys hunched over the study table several aisles away. James was looking particularly dark and Peter was grinning nervously—a trademark sign that trouble was brewing within the gang. Sirius patted James consolingly on that back. Lily followed his line of sight and wrinkled her nose.

"Honestly. I didn't realize we had an audience."

Remus became engrossed in the spine of the book he was holding.

"I thank my lucky stars every day that you were made prefect and not one of them—not that they ever would have been picked." She laughed. "Can anyone say third year potions?"

Remus chuckled at the thought. Two years ago James and Sirius had noticed that in their third year potions kit they had all the ingredients they needed to make a sort of poor man's explosive. That afternoon had been a rapid learning curve, and what remained of the classroom was packed up and moved to the dungeons while Filch set about rebuilding the old potions classroom.

"Let me know about Hogsmeade," Lily said. She turned and walked off.

Remus watched her go, butterflies in his stomach, and not just at the thought of having to confront a very dark-faced James. There was something about Lily. He thought that every boy at Hogwarts would probably agree. She was a bit different from the other girls, more confident, not afraid to just open her mouth and say whatever came to mind. Not afraid to ask a boy to Hogsmeade. He wondered if being Muggle-born had something to do with it.

Remus didn't know if he really fancied her, but he liked her. When she had first asked to be his charms partner a month earlier, he had worried that she was making him participate in a cruel joke against James. James _had_ been angry, and also had thought that Lily had picked Remus on purpose to make him jealous. But Lily's interest in him had been persistent. And besides, Remus didn't really think Lily was capable of using anyone. She was kind. Her charity case friendship with Snape was proof enough.

His friends had descended. Remus looked up at met James's eyes. Sirius and Peter were hovering a few feet back.

"Well?" James blustered.

"What?"

"What were you talking about?" James folded his arms across his chest menacingly.

Remus's throat closed up. "She…Lily asked me to go to Hogsmeade with her."

Sirius groaned and shook his head. Peter grinned nervously. James seemed to swell in anger.

"And what did you say?"

"I said…I'd get back to her," Remus said lamely.

James snapped. He whirled on his heel and stomped out of the library. "You're supposed to be my friend, you soggy arse," he shouted over his shoulder.

A devastated silence fell over the library, broken by nervous giggles from the scattered study groups. At her desk, Madam Pince was viciously crossing out one of the names on her roster of students with library privileges.

Sirius let out a long, low whistle. "Merlin, mate."

"No kidding," Peter said.

"James is pissed."

"Yeah, no kidding." Peter was obviously following Sirius's lead.

Suddenly completely and utterly fed up with his friends, Remus pushed past them both and made a dash for the exit too.

Lily represented an alternative universe to Remus. An alternate existence where he could ask a pretty girl out without worrying about how his dark secret might rear its ugly head and ruin everything. He fantasized about being with her, doing all the normal things that normal couples do. He replayed the moment in the library in his head so that _he_ was the one who asked _her_ out. Because maybe he would have if he didn't have his disease looming over his head, reminding him everyday that it was impossible for someone like him to be with someone like her.

But Remus knew it was just a fantasy. He never would be with Lily, but he was in love with the way she made him feel just like every other boy at Hogwarts, and he was grateful to her for it. James had nothing to worry about, because he knew that if she knew the truth about him she would be repulsed. He couldn't expect more of her.

It wasn't until years later, when Lily and James had been happily married for several months and Lily one day casually asked Remus how he was recovering from his last transformation, that Remus discovered that somewhere along the way, Lily had found out.

"How long have you known, Lily?"

Lily stared. "Ages, Remus."

"Did James tell you?"

"Yes, but…I think I knew before. There was always something about you."

Remus was dumbfounded. "And you don't care?"

"Try explaining to a muggle-born the finer points of wizarding prejudice. It's all a lot of nonsense to me." Lily laughed. "When _I_ was a kid, I was taught that witches were evil."

It was a tricky world to navigate, Remus decided. But he didn't spend much time thinking about could-have-been's. One thing he had learned was that he would not cease to be ashamed by his own limited estimations of his friends.

"Remus?" Lily leaned in, grinning.

"What?" Remus asked vaguely.

"Cheer up, you toe-rag."

He was beginning to think it might be possible.


End file.
